Sleep Depravation...
Since Bekah had her surgery back in February she has struggled with sleeping. And I mean, she's had night terrors, won't sleep for HOURS, has a hard time getting to sleep. You name it, they've written a chapter on it in a book. It's been a VERY frustrating 6 months. We have tried everything we know to do and still, sleep is not something we can count on. We have often felt like we have a newborn in the house again. We have cried, we have yelled, we have screamed, we have prayed, we have sought advice, we have read books, we have prayed and prayed and prayed. No, I have no idea why the Lord is allowing us to go through this season.
During the early part of all this I had a friend share with me that she went through something similar with one of her sons. She shared with me that she spent those many hours in prayer. Yes, tears too, but prayer. I figured since she is wiser then me and had been through this I ought to take her advice. And so, I have. Prayer changes things, folks. Does it make Bekah fall asleep when I want her to? No. Does it make her calm down? Not always. But you know what it does do? It keeps me from being angry--at HER, at life, at GOD, at my husband. It changes me. It changes my attitude and changes the way I deal with our long hours. It keeps me from completely losing my temper. And, I must shamefully admit, it has kept me from hating my child. God works miracles when we pray. There have been nights when I have literally cried out to God to make her go to sleep and he doesn't. But you know what he DOES do? He makes me calm. He reminds me that he has gifted me with this precious child, and what she is dealing with is not her fault.
And so, when I hear her cry out and know she won't calm herself, I take a deep breath, ask the Lord for strength and begin the job of calming her down and getting her back to sleep. And, I pray. I pray for her first. I pray for David, that he'll be able to sleep while I'm up with her. I pray for Cora and Ben. I pray for our family as a whole, for my extended family, for our church family. I pray and pray and pray until I either doze off, or can't think of anything else to pray about. Folks, when we open ourselves up to the Lord we're not guaranteed it's going to be the most convenient time in our day. But, I have been able to be thankful for these times with the Lord. Would I rather sleep all night without interruption? Sure! What parent wouldn't? But, I can honestly say God has given me a peace that can ONLY come from him when it comes to Bekah.
Pray for Bekah. Pray that whatever switch needs to be flipped will be. She is suffering from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after her time in the hospital. Time is truly the only thing that will heal her. She is getting better. We have gone from several nights a week to 2-3 nights, and now we can go a week without her waking up. I believe this is God's healing. She is still fearful at night. She does NOT like to be away from me at all, and I have taken to rocking her to sleep at night--which I never thought I would do, but must say I believe it is helping. I'm thankful for the little girl the Lord has blessed us. She is stubborn and strong-willed, but I know God has something wonderful planned for her. Our prayer has been that God shows us how to help her use her "powers" for good and not evil!
During the early part of all this I had a friend share with me that she went through something similar with one of her sons. She shared with me that she spent those many hours in prayer. Yes, tears too, but prayer. I figured since she is wiser then me and had been through this I ought to take her advice. And so, I have. Prayer changes things, folks. Does it make Bekah fall asleep when I want her to? No. Does it make her calm down? Not always. But you know what it does do? It keeps me from being angry--at HER, at life, at GOD, at my husband. It changes me. It changes my attitude and changes the way I deal with our long hours. It keeps me from completely losing my temper. And, I must shamefully admit, it has kept me from hating my child. God works miracles when we pray. There have been nights when I have literally cried out to God to make her go to sleep and he doesn't. But you know what he DOES do? He makes me calm. He reminds me that he has gifted me with this precious child, and what she is dealing with is not her fault.
And so, when I hear her cry out and know she won't calm herself, I take a deep breath, ask the Lord for strength and begin the job of calming her down and getting her back to sleep. And, I pray. I pray for her first. I pray for David, that he'll be able to sleep while I'm up with her. I pray for Cora and Ben. I pray for our family as a whole, for my extended family, for our church family. I pray and pray and pray until I either doze off, or can't think of anything else to pray about. Folks, when we open ourselves up to the Lord we're not guaranteed it's going to be the most convenient time in our day. But, I have been able to be thankful for these times with the Lord. Would I rather sleep all night without interruption? Sure! What parent wouldn't? But, I can honestly say God has given me a peace that can ONLY come from him when it comes to Bekah.
Pray for Bekah. Pray that whatever switch needs to be flipped will be. She is suffering from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after her time in the hospital. Time is truly the only thing that will heal her. She is getting better. We have gone from several nights a week to 2-3 nights, and now we can go a week without her waking up. I believe this is God's healing. She is still fearful at night. She does NOT like to be away from me at all, and I have taken to rocking her to sleep at night--which I never thought I would do, but must say I believe it is helping. I'm thankful for the little girl the Lord has blessed us. She is stubborn and strong-willed, but I know God has something wonderful planned for her. Our prayer has been that God shows us how to help her use her "powers" for good and not evil!
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